Life’s hard

When you’re a fat dog

Part of a new campaign for Chilean lo-cal dog food. It may be amusing but the scene is not presented accurately. Not only are the happy couple doing it missionary instead of doggy style, in my experience canine voyeurs typically react more like drunken frat boys than forlorn, pensive cuckolds.

If I’ve told you once

I’ve told you a thousand times.
Don’t treat your dog like a baby and ….

(warning – NSFW video with creepy ending)

Don’t treat your baby like a dog.
It’s not kind to either one of them.

PETA and The “Other White Meat”

From The Onion via The Poodle and Dog Blog

Rumor has it that they’re also planning to exploit bed bugs in two new campaigns.

Treats On The Interwebs

I”m getting ready for rotator cuff surgery next week and too busy to blog so here are some links to some other goodies on the web.

First, an excellent piece on the importance  of restraining your dog in the car from our friends over at PetConnection.

Terrierman has a link to a full-length version of Pedigree Dogs Exposed.  If you haven’t already seen it MAKE THE TIME!

My good friend Caveat provides a link to an interesting piece from the Opinion Mill on the pointlessness of debating with a closed mind.

Last, but not least, VetOnTheEdge has a ‘beverage warning’ post on pet anatomy and human squeamishness.

The Best New Book on Dog Training

“How to Have an Ill-Behaved Dog” from the Self-Hurt Series at Knock Knock is THE best book on dog training that I’ve read in a long time.  I’m not joking.  This book will give you all the information you need to train your dog.

This is from the promo on Knock Knock’s website:
Have you ever been to the dog park and wondered, “How do those people achieve such ill-behaved dogs?” Or perhaps you’re thinking about adopting a canine companion and want to start off on the right paw. Whether you’re experienced or new at the pet game, this book will teach you the most cutting-edge techniques for cultivating a dog who doesn’t listen, barks incessantly, and destroys your shoes.

Learn How To:

·         Develop your dog into a narcissistic extension of yourself
·         Make sure your dog jumps on all visitors
·         Harness your dog’s natural drives to extract the worst possible behavior with the minimum effort 

And, if you follow the directions in the book, I guarantee that you will have an obnoxious, ill-behaved dog!  There’s even a place inside the front cover where you can sign a pledge committing yourself to accomplish the task. 

If you read this little gem of a book closely, you’ll see that the folks who wrote it (and by the way, the only way that the book disappointed me was that it gave no credit to the authors or editors) must be absolutely brilliant dog trainers… or psychotherapists who specialize in treating dysfunctional dog owners.  Their descriptions of neurotic dog owners, obnoxious dogs and the ways that they create each other are deviously clever and wonderfully entertaining. 

You might think that this is just a silly, useless, little book — and you’d be wrong.  “How to Have an Ill-Behaved Dog” provides the thoughtful dog owner with a sort of magic mirror on “How Not to Live With a Dog.” 

Get this book and read it twice.  The first time read it purely to be entertained.  It’s a very funny book and even someone who isn’t a dog owner will appreciate the humor.  Then read it a second time with a more critical eye, to see if you recognize yourself (or your dog) anywhere in its pages.  If you do — use the book as a guide to change, and correct the parts of your behavior that you saw mirrored in the book.  If you see yourself in many places in its pages, you may want to call a professional dog trainer – and a therapist!